


A Key for a Card

by Krysalisz



Category: Token: Wayward World
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bambi hates books, Because I'm English, Borderline Insanity, Humor, Humour, M/M, Mental Institution, Minor Character Death, Mirror Universe, Pika is socially useless, Suicide Attempt, Tooru's jacket, supernatural stuff, this gets real dark real fast, will get into that more later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:21:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21813616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krysalisz/pseuds/Krysalisz
Summary: She lent on a wheeled chair near one of the room's tall, steel beams to catch her breath as her mind spun.'She'd lost her son. She'd lost her only last son & he was nowhere to be seen.'She heard a whimper overheard.'She wasn't good enough. Wasn't there for him when he needed her, probably more than he'd ever need her in the rest of his life.'& then a half-stifled choking sound.She froze. She already knew what that meant without looking up. But she still did. & she almost wished she hadn't.If she hadn't known, she would have now, from the ring of rope tied to a beam & the small boy bound by it, looking at her, with a gaze that hit her right in the heart & broke it. Genuinely looking at her, with feeling, feeling other than hatred, other than pain, other than emptiness, voicing a silent plea."Help."That.That was when she made the decision.～～～～～～～～★～～～～～～～～
Relationships: Bambi Murris/Pika Hjort
Kudos: 1





	A Key for a Card

_"Tell me,"_

_"You want to help people, yes?_

_Say the incantation,_

_Make an oath to me,_

_This will be your propitiation,_

_& then, I shall grant you your wish..."_

_"This..."_

_"Say it."_

～～～～～～～～★～～～～～～～～

"Do you want this jacket?"

Pika looked up at his brother. & then down at his favourite grey jacket. Why was he even offering? Didn't he know Pika hated jackets?

"I don't want it."

Tooru tilted his head back at him from up ahead.

"You sure? It's starting to shrink, & you don't own a single one."

"I don't need one." He stopped to kick a stone. His brother only smiled.

"Well, I think you'd look good in it."

The smaller boy frowned where he stood. "I still don't want your stupid jacket." he mumbled, finding another stone & sending it past the first with his other foot. He knew he had no reason to be sulking, & that there was no point in acting like a baby over his own bad mood. He sighed under his breath & started to apologise.

He was cut off right then.

The sound of screeching tyres, cracking bones, loud gasps, metal clashing with brick - each & every layer of noise forever imprinted in his memory.

He dared to look up.

He wished he hadn't.

That Summer day, died red & black, pools & pieces on the soaked ground. How the bright, cheery weather didn't fit the nightmare below. How the body lay stained & contorted where it fell & painted the pavement. How the injured driver came staggering out as onlookers rushed over or stared & gaped. These sights never to be forgotten either, every image, every frame, burned into his retinas.

& as he stood paralysed & unresponsive, as the sirens blared louder & the figures grew closer, the last thing he saw before everything became a blur was what his brother had been holding, now at Pika's feet; his favourite grey jacket, mocking him from the ground before him.

～～～～～～～～★～～～～～～～～

"Bambi? Bambi? _Hellooooo?_ "

Talon prodded the dozing boy with a pen, who grumbled & lifted his head in response.

"Mmmmmmn...what'd I miss?"

"Some stuff about the school closing down." he replied. "Also, some Swedish kid is joining our form."

"Oh." Bambi yawned, stretched, & then did a double-take. "Wait, what? A Swedish kid?"

" _That's_ what concerns you?" Husky shook his head.

"Okay, so I made the first part up. But the part about the Swedish boy is true." Talon punctuated this by pointing with a pen to the boy who was now making his way to the back of the room, as if avoiding everyone else in it.

"Oh...so there is..." Bambi mused sleepily. He rubbed his eyes. As if on cue, the boy at the back did the same. He yawned again. The boy yawned. He stretched. The boy stretched. & then he leaned once again on the desk, deciding to return to his much-needed nap. Again in sync, the other boy put his head down on the desk, & decided he, too, had had enough for the day, despite just arriving.

"Whoa," Husky was visibly amused Or as visibly as he could be. "Did you see that?"

"Oh, no. They're breeding..."

"Right, sure. But I could see those two getting along. If they'd talk to each other, that is." & with that said, he, too, decided to continue the trend of yawning, stretching, & laying down for a nap, right next to the lightly snoring Bambi.

Talon smiled a small smile at the two snoozing boys.

_'I think you two get along pretty well, too'_

～～～～～～～～★～～～～～～～～

"Okay. Spend this money wisely. I can be wise."

Before heading off for their week-long holiday, Bambi's guardians had left him a generous sum of money to cover food expenses, anything else he'd need, & maybe a couple of nights out, & it was his responsibility to make good use of it, as he wouldn't be getting any more for any reason.

He'd start by stocking up on some food & drinks that were a little more to his liking than what they currently had in. He'd traversed this route to that little shop he liked many times before, navigating the streets was no problem, & he never had anything to worry to about, so long as he had his phone on him.

Which wasn't in his pocket.

"Ah, damn it..." Voices played in the boy's head as he fumbled for the device.

_"Don't forget to keep your phone with you at all times while out of the house."_

_"Spend that money wisely! It's all you're getting, so don't complain your stomach's empty when you waste it all."_

_"Do NOT lose this. It's the only house key we can give you until we can get another one cut."_

_"Be responsible & be safe. We won't be there when you find yourself blacked out at someone else's house."_

_"If anything goes wrong, call us straight away! We may be in another country, but don't think I won't drop everything & run back if you're ever in trouble, okay? I'll swim if I have to."_

Sighing, Bambi willed himself to turn back & grab his phone. He was actually closer to his house than the shop, anyway.

He stopped abruptly & turned on the spot, only to bump into someone at the first step.

Knocking their credit card out of their hand.

Which fell into the gutter below them.

Wordlessly, he looked down at the abyss under the bars, looked up at the stranger's expression, & paled.

Needless to say, the stranger was not pleased.

"So," Bambi stared wordlessly at the stranger as they spoke "My credit card is in the drain. How'd that happen, huh?"

Bambi swallowed, but didn't respond, shrinking away as the man leaned in close

"More importantly..." Voice now a growl, eyes narrow,

_"What are you gonna do about it?"_

Struggling to get a better view, Pika poked his messy raven head of hair out from the bush he'd hidden himself behind. That boy...he'd seen him somewhere before, but he couldn't put a name to the face. He considered helping him out for a beat, before anxiety promptly told him off for even thinking such a thing. Him? Socialising? Quite ridiculous, isn't it? He shook his head silently before turning & continuing his trek along the bushes, away from the eyes of society...or any breath of life at all. That was, until the distant weeping became an almost deafening sob.

_'Damn it...'_

He creeped back towards the evidently distraught boy, & eyed him from the distance. Pika was sure he'd flood the street with his incessant tears if he wasn't sitting in front of a drain. He looked just as helpless as Pika did back when...

Nope. He pushed the thoughts away. Months may have passed, but it was still soon. It will always be. Mustering up all the courage he possessed, he wrote up a script in his head so he wouldn't fumble about his words as he always did. He'll just waltz up to the boy, say exactly what he planned to say, ask questions, cheer him up, maybe even make a friend. What could possibly go wrong?

& so, ignoring the list of a hundred things that could, indeed, go wrong that the socially inept side of his brain read to him, he did just that.

Or sort of.

Never ceasing the stream of tears, Bambi stayed sitting in front of the drain, mind refusing to think about even about a solution to his worries. This was it, he was doomed, the world was ending, & everything was lost. He continued this way until deciding to at least open his eyes, noticing the figure in front of him with a slight jump, which elicited a similar response in the hooded stranger - he noted that he was wearing a jacket, despite it being a particularly warm & humid evening - in front of him. No, not a stranger. On closer inspection, he recognised them as the Swedish kid that had recently joined his form, relaxed a little, & waited for him to speak.

He did not.

Before they could stare blankly at one another any longer, Bambi thought he might as well make things less awkward.

"You're the kid who just joined, right?"

No response.

_'Right...'_ Bambi bit his tongue & looked to the side before trying again. "What's your name?"

Pika blinked. Wasn't he supposed to be asking the questions?

_'Right, ask him if he's alright. Then, see if - Wait, 'the kid that joined'?'_ That meant...yes, it was a boy from his new form. He DID recognise him from somewhere, after all.

"Yes." Pika responded, not realising he was answering the wrong question.

Bambi stared at him.

Pika stared back.

"'Y-yes'...?"

"Yes..."

"..."

"..."

Pika tilted his head. Did he say something wrong? Was he waiting for something? That's when he remembered the script - *check if he's okay.*

_'That's right. I cheer him up now. "Hey, are you alright? You seem down. Anything I can do to help?"'_ The disheveled-haired boy nodded subtly to himself. _'"Hey, are you alright? You seem down. Anything I can do to help?" Hey, are you alright? You seem down..."'_

As always, the moment he tried to speak the words *outside* of his head, he swallowed them. He opened his mouth, but not a sound was made, as the brown-haired boy looked at him.

"...You're...crying..."

Indeed, he was. But that crying had slowed as confusion had taken over his despair currently. That was probably an improvement. Eyes widening, Bambi's attention was brought back to the predicament he was currently in.

"Yes," he respond with as steady a voice as he could manage. His eyes trailed down to the drain before him, & Pika's followed. "My key...- house key, it's kinda...down there."

The other boy paused before giving a belated response. "Dropped?" _'(Did you drop it?)'_

He figured what that meant. "Not...exactly. This, uhh, guy threw it down. Stranger. Someone I ran into. Threw it down."

Pika was evidently surprised, though he didn't voice it. He tilted his head with interest again, silently asking _'why?'_

"I...kinda bumped into him. Aaaaand I may or may not have knocked his credit card down there. H-he said it was, uhh...'an eye for an eye'. Or...'a key for a card', in this case. I guess. Bambi brought his knees to his head & rested it in them as he said this.

Pika hummed, contemplating. "Spare?"

Bambi shook his head. "No spare."

"Parents?"

"On holiday." He didn't think it necessary to mention that his guardians weren't his parents.

"Phone?"

"Inside."

"Window?"

"Locked."

The boy hummed again. It really did sound hopeless. Then it occurred to him that he was, in reality, more than well equipped to help out. Resource-wise, at the least. Now he just needed to gather that one trait that always eluded him. _Courage._

Right on cue, his tongue tied itself in a knot & disappeared down his throat.

_'Fine.'_ He thought. _'I don't need to explain.'_

"Come." Was all he said, extending a hand which he could only pray the other boy took.

Thankfully, he did take it.

"Where are we going?"

He turned to him with a deadpan expression that was originally intended to be a smile. "My house."

Bambi wasn't quite sure what he'd expected of Pika's house, but it wasn't _this._

He was almost intimidated by the mansion staring him down & its walls looming well over him - Hell, maybe he was. He only hoped his jaw didn't drop as far as his stomach did as his company looked at him upon unlocking & pushing open the door, urging him inside his modest castle. He was almost surprised not to see a moat & a drawbridge.

Finding himself suddenly unable to articulate his thoughts, he gawked, dumbfounded, at every room & passage they walked, until the boy stopped & gestured to a house-phone, which Bambi simply stared at.

"Number?"

The brunette had to think what exactly he was being asked. Whose number? His?

"Parents'..." Pika looked at the baffled face before him & sighed under his breath conceding. He really did have to force himself to say more than one word if he truly wanted to help. He gulped, but still didn't speak.

Bambi didn't bother asking, it was like talking to a child. It was pretty obvious the boy was being too vague with his sentences, if you could even call them that, but he remained polite & patient. It hadn't occurred to him that he might not speak English well. His friend _did_ say the new guy was foreign (Swedish, was it?). Though his accent didn't sound different, so surely he must have lived in England for a long time. Then again, there was also the possibly that there was something wrong with him, & he didn't want to accidentally offend someone he just met. Before he could wonder or worry any longer, he heard a sudden intake of breath & noticed the boy looking at him with eyes filled with a sudden determination.

"Your parents' number. You can call them from here."

Bambi stopped himself from feeling hope. He sucked at memorising numbers. He couldn't recall anything past the first three digits, & he had no siblings or other acquaintances he knew of that he could get their numbers from. &, so, he told Pika this.

He only blinked. "Check your contacts."

"..."

"...?"

The brunette sighed for what must have been the fifteenth time that day & reminded Pika that his phone was locked in his house, to which he blinked again, before tilting his head contemplatively, a sight he'd be sick of by now if it wasn't somewhat endearing. He stayed silent for a while until tears started brimming again in Bambi's eyes. He hadn't even noticed them welling up until he was given a concerned look from his dishevelled-haired companion, who then disappeared up a staircase with a monotonous "Wait here.", & so that's what he did. Not that there was much else he could do.

He wasn't sure what he was expecting when the boy returned, but it wasn't for him to take his hand, & surprisingly forcefully lead him away without so much as a word. They continued out the house, round the back, through the humongous garden, & through a light wood, & since it seemed the boy wasn't going to give any explanation until they arrived at their unknown destination, he didn't ask for one, & instead readied himself to be taken anywhere.

He was still surprised.

He took in his surroundings with a turn of the body. A lake? Sure, it was beautiful - really beautiful, actually, especially for someone with a weakness for scenic sights as himself, but why bring him here? What was this, a date?

He turned to the raven & made his confusion visible, though he couldn't hide the underlying awe from his expression. He wasn't sure whether or not the boy noticed this, since he didn't comment.

"Pika."

He gave him a look that asked the question before his mouth could.

"My name. My name is 'Pika'." Pika frowned slightly & looked to his feet. "As in, the mouse. _Not_ Pikachu..."

"Your name's based on an animal?"

Deep blue eyes fell on him briefly. "Yeah...I know it's weird, but-"

"No, I'm the same." That got his attention, & he turned to face Pika while he still had it, extending a hand. "Name's 'Bambi'. Just like the deer."

& after widening his eyes for a second, he took the hand.

"I guess that makes us the same..."

He smiled pleasantly. "Guess it does."

～～～～～～～～★～～～～～～～～

"You're stupid."

"You're an idiot."

"I _know,_ okay?! But what could I do? It was an accident!"

The four of them laughed as Bambi explained how he ended up in the situation he was in. Or rather, three laughed, one listened.

Talon snorted. "You actually knocked his fucking credit card down the grate? & he let you keep your spine?"

"I really thought he was gonna knock me out, though. Actually, I would have preferred that. Seriously, what am I supposed to do without my phone, read a book?"

Talon only snorted again at that. "You should. It'd do your deprived brain wonders."

"Oh, shut up."

"Still," Husky looked to the latest addition to their group, sitting shyly on Bambi's right. "You're lucky you had someone to help you."

_'Yes,'_ the brunette thought, smiling gratefully at the boy beside him, who blinked & looked away. _'Very lucky.'_

When all else had failed, Pika had decided to allow Bambi to stay at his for the week, with the permission of his parents, which he was more than happy to do, though he felt bad indulging himself as they offered luxurious _everything,_ whether it be food or bed. Even the **air** felt above his level, he'd never felt so common in all his life. Did Pika know how lucky he was?

"I'm aware." He had said when asked. "But that doesn't mean my life is perfect." & since that wasn't elaborated on, he never asked.

It went on like that for the first three days. Bambi would attempt conversation, Pika would give one word or sentence, then shut it down. He wasn't sure anymore if he was socially inept, anti-social, or just hated him, but he was certainly reluctant to share anything of his life, as if he was a wanted criminal, & not once did he initiate the conversation. If it could be called that.

"Hey,"

Bambi was met with a gaze.

"What's your favourite film?"

Pika ducked his head into his book. "Secret."

"What's your favourite show?"

"Don't know..."

"Oh, come on, Pika. Humour me a little!" He said with a pout, to which Pika just smirked slightly behind the item in his hands. Or at least, he thought. It was hard to tell with his face hidden like that.

"What's your favourite book?"

"I wonder..."

"What's your favourite food?"

"I'm not fussy."

The brunette groaned loudly & leaned back on the floor he was sat on. "You're so boooriiing. Come on..."

Again, Pika just smiled at him behind the book. Was he doing this on purpose?

"What's your favourite colour?"

"...Blue."

_'Oh? An actual response?'_

"What's your surname?"

"'Hjort'."

"'Yort'?"

"'Hjort'," the other boy repeated before looking away "It means...'deer'."

"Like my name..." _'What are the odds?'_

"What kind of girls do you like?"

& sure enough, that's where conversation stopped, as Pika simply glared at him for a minute before fully immersing his face into his book with a quiet huff.

The brunette just laughed. "Oh, come on, I'm joking, I'm joking! I'll stop the interview, now, thank you for your time."

& he was just about to think of another way to pass the hours without his phone or anyone to talk to when the other boy suddenly slammed his book down on the table beside his bed, got up, sat down on the floor before his company, & directed all his attention towards it, something the boy was not expecting.

"No," He said flatly. "It's time for yours."

"What's your favourite film?"

～～～～～～～～★～～～～～～～～

"This is the place."

Pika stared silently, as he always did. It was difficult for another to tell what he was feeling as he circled the brightly lit fountain like a vulture watching its prey, but unbeknownst to the boy who'd brought him here, he was staring in complete wonder & awe. The golden tree-shape in the centre, the rainbow-coloured streams of water, the silver rim around the pool, the way the lights made the whole structure glow like a beacon...though he didn't express it, he was immensely intrigued.

He turned to his companion with a gleam in his eye & hidden inquiry, but didn't voice the questions.

"I was told to bring you here..."

Huh...Pika thought he just wanted to show him the spot - he'd certainly understand why - not that he'd been told to. Though, that raised another question;

"By who?"

"Mmn..." Bambi tilted his chin with a hand & frowned at the night sky. "The thing is...I, uhh..." He laughed nervously. Why...? "I genuinely don't know. I'm not sure how to explain this, really. See, I spoke to someone when I came alone here before, but...argh..." He scratched his head a trailed off, before turning to the boy next to him.

"I know it sounds crazy, but I heard a voice talking to me. & it was so distinct & vivid I know I wasn't imagining it! & she was talking to me, inside my head. It was like talking to a goddess, or something...You...I sound crazy, don't I?"

_'Oh, totally nuts.'_

"What did it- What did she say?"

"She asked me if I wanted to help people, & told me she'd grant my wish if I made a vow to her, or something. It sounds like something out of a fairy tale, I know..."

_'Right out of it.'_

"Wish? What was your wish?"

The brunette looked away from him. "No, that was my wish. To help people. I said that to myself at the fountain before she spoke to me. Lame, huh...?"

_'Huh...'_ Pika tilted his head, intrigued. _'How pure...'_

"No, that's-" _'really sweet'_

"...admirable."

"Thank you, Pika."

Huh. Who knew his name could sound so nice on another's tongue? "So, what did she ask you to do?"

He shook his head. "She just asked me say something. But I can't repeat it to you."

_'Must be a secret.'_

"So...what about me? Why did you...?" He swallowed a lump in his throat.

"I don't know how to explain that bit either." Bambi's brown eyes met his. "Something or someone told me to bring you here. So that she can help me grant my wish...I think."

"You thi- Wait, you want me to help you?"

"No,"

Pika found a warm hand earnestly grasping his own.

"I want to help you."

～～～～～～～～★～～～～～～～～

_"What kind of girls do you like?"_

Ah, yes. That question.

After his 'turn' has ended, Pika had begun to return each & every question he has been asked, respective order & all - except Bambi was giving actual answers.

He looked up at Pika's staring face, which was a blank canvas as always.

"Seriously...?"

"What do you think?"

Indeed. He certainly wasn't easy to read.

"Uhh...I dunno. I guess a girl who's...strong, knows what she wants, &, uh, is honest...Definitely honest. But still relies on me when they need to, you know?"

"Mn-hmm." Pika closed his eyes & nodded in mock thought. "Okay,"

"What kind of guys do you like?"

&, suddenly, Bambi found himself choking on the oxygen he was breathing as he struggled to process the question. He had definitely not asked him THAT.

"Wh-?! What does that...? As a friend, or...? What?!"

The messy-haired boy only giggled as he watched him splutter on thin air.

_'Huh. That's the first time he's laughed.'_

After that night, Pika seemed to ease up a bit more, to Bambi's relief, though he still hadn't said a thing about himself. Not that it mattered, really. He just thought his stay would be more enjoyable if he knew the person he was staying with better. The boy mostly remained a mystery, & Bambi almost never knew what was going on in his head. He noticed, though, that Pika was alone, apart from him, almost the entire time. He didn't seem to be messaging anyone, no-one came to visit, he didn't go out to see anyone, there were no siblings in the house, & even his parents rarely spoke to him. He wanted to know why. He really wanted to know, but wasn't sure when or how to ask.

Come night five, the boys were in the bedroom, fed & changed, Bambi assuming his usual spot on the floor, while Pika sat on his bed, facing away, staring at seemingly nothing.

"Mmmn..." Bambi groaned at the book's cover without even opening it. _Books._ Had it really come to this?

"Ahhhh, I'm so _bored!_ Don't you have any friends you could visit, or something?"

No response.

_'Ah...'_ Bambi looked up at the other boy to find him still facing away, looking down. He was frozen stiff & didn't say a word, which told him everything he needed to know. Mostly that he had said the wrong thing.

"U-uhh..." He rubbed his head awkwardly. "Do you not have any other family around?"

Still no response.

_'Damn it, what am I supposed to say?!'_

"I-I mean, like...do you...have any siblings? Brother...?"

& as soon as he said that word, the boy visibly flinched, & Bambi could hear his breath hitch in the otherwise-silent room as he lowered his head further.

_'Fuck, is he...?'_

The messy haired of hair turned to face him & confirmed that he was, indeed, crying. He smiled sadly at him with teary eyes, sniping Bambi in the heart with a pang of guilt.

"Fuck, no, wait. Don't be sad, Pika. It's fine if you haven't had a brother-"

Repeating the word only prompted more tears, & the brunette had to wonder why he was even born with a mouth, if all he did with it was make things worse.

"Yes, Bambi." He laughed, but anyone could tell it wasn't genuine, even without the croaky voice. "It would be fine if I never had a brother."

He was sure Pika could actually hear the cogs whirring in his empty head as he tried to process that response.

_'If he never had a brother...? Does that mean-?'_

His thoughts were cut short when the boy produced a picture frame from somewhere unknown, & held it before his trembling lips with a faltering smile, causing Bambi's stomach to tighten before he could even make out the image.

He looked at it curiously, yet almost reluctantly, & found his heart being impaled once again with guilt. A boy, perhaps in his early twenties, smiling in an expression full of love & care, the resemblance uncanny. Bambi didn't need to be told who it was.

"I..." Swallowing the lump in his throat, he thought carefully about what to say to him, how to comfort him, until, just as the image was put away, he noticed the jacket the boy in it had been wearing.

Back when they met in the street, around the house, at the fountain, even now, on his bed this warm night, Pika was wearing the very same jacket. His deceased brother's jacket. & Pika seemed to catch him gazing at it, as he looked down at himself, & then back up at the other boy. Bambi opened his mouth to speak.

Then he closed it. God knew he was no good at using the damn thing. Thankfully, Pika spoke for him.

"I never got to apologise " He hardly knew why he was sharing what he was, he'd hardly even let the therapists know how he felt. But it seemed that as out flowed the tears, the emotions he'd been sticking down his throat came up with them. Bambi just watched dumbly as he spoke.

"Of course I didn't get to say goodbye. No-one saw it coming. I just wish," He paused to wipe his face with the back of his hand & tried again.

"I just wish I'd at least had a better final moment with him. One where I wasn't acting like that..."

He at least had the sense not to ask him to elaborate. Though, he still wasn't sure what he was supposed to do.

That's when someone - or something - decided for him. Not in his native tongue, or in any tongue at all. Not quite saying it, but still telling him; one word, one meaning,

_"Come."_

～～～～～～～～★～～～～～～～～

Thursday, 22nd July, 10:27pm

No-one said a word, nor sounded anything at all. Too soon. Too soon to talk. Too soon to think. Too soon to release the breaths they held & feel the pinch to their cheeks.

Saturday, 24th July, 10:27pm

His parents were on an indefinite leave from work, yet for once Pika didn't want their company. He didn't want anything at all. Or anyone at all. He had everything he needed & a brother who loved him. They shot him worried glances but otherwise said nothing.

Sunday, 25th July, 10:10am

Now it was starting to _hit,_ & it was hitting hard. This was real, this was permanent, & this was how it was now. He no longer had a brother or anyone at all. That's when the tears came, but he was too distressed to notice his parents drying them through their own. If he was to be comforted, it would be by his brother. He didn't want anyone else. Didn't need anyone else. Have anyone else. He missed his brother.

Monday, 26th July, 1:23pm

He missed his brother.

Tuesday, 27th July, 2:30pm

He really missed his brother.

Wednesday, 28th July, 6:35pm

...He's not gone. He can't be. He wouldn't accept that.

Thursday, 29th July, 3:47am

His parents were starting to seriously worry now. He hadn't improved in the slightest & genuinely hadn't smiled even slightly all week. Of course, they were distraught. Nothing, absolutely nothing could compare to the feeling of losing your child. But they'd had two children. They still had a responsibility as parents, a boy to feed & look after, who they had no choice but to leave in the care of newly hired staff while they were away, as he was a minor, unlike the brother who'd looked after him.

Friday, 30th July, 4:00pm

He woke up. That's a pretty normal way to start your day, sure. He got out of bed, too. Perhaps he didn't bother to brush his teeth or hair, or change his clothes, but still he got up & went about his day as normal.

Of course he did. He was fine.

He had anything he wanted. Everything he needed.

Wednesday, 4th August, 7:36pm

It's quite sad. She had a responsibility to put food on the table, but that very responsibility stole so much of the time she could have spent with her her son. Not that anyone could have known that precious time would be so limited. Never would she have thought that. Never would she have wanted to. But they made nice memories still, memories she'd never forget, & never regret. Perhaps visiting his room would surface pleasant memories.

So that's what she did.

Lyrics he'd written for songs he used to sing, pictures of him with his friends, family, or girlfriend, even how neat & tidy his room was kept, right up to the end, all the little things that made her proud to be his mother, mother to a one-and-only child the world will never see another of, not even close, & she understood that personally. She smiled to herself - bittersweet, but genuine.

It quickly vanished when she turned to see the figure looming ahead of her.

It's not that her son was intimidating, & even if he was, he'd still be unconditionally beautiful to her, though he was noticeably dishevelled-looking - more so than usual; his hair was matted, his clothes were dirtied & even torn, & she could have sworn he was beat up. But that wasn't what bothered her, it was that she'd never seen him make such an expression, let alone towards his own mother,

Hatred.

Pure, unadulterated hatred.

It was beyond just being mad at her for...she didn't even know what, she truly believed he hated her at that moment with all his heart, just from the way he was looking at her like she was the worst thing alive. If it wasn't her son, she'd be scared.

She moved not a muscle until he growled - literally growled at her, grabbing her roughly by the shoulders & shoving her into the hallway, before sinking to the floor & breaking down. & from that little contact, she was able to pick up on the fact that he hadn't been washing, or taking care of himself at all, from the looks of things. Instead, she worried, doing the exact opposite.

That wasn't healthy.

She watched him for a beat, holding his head in his hands like the world was ending, before disappearing wordlessly to talk to his father.

He stared after her until she moved a more comfortable distance from his brother's room.

Of course he looked like that. Didn't she know he had just lost his world?

He sat outside Tooru's door for the entire next day.

Saturday, 7th August

Neither of the parents, nor the cleaning staff or babysitters had been able to set foot in Pika's room since the incident, so while he kept himself locked himself inside one of the many toilets in the building, his mother thought she may as well at least try to clean up for him, wash his clothes, freshen up his living space a little. A healthier environment just might make him feel a little better. It's was the least she could do, & she was certain it would be messy.

It was.

But it was far beyond that.

There was almost too much to take in, & she wasn't sure what was the most worrying. Where to even start?

The first thing she noticed was the array of clothes displayed on the floor. Or more so, the fact that every top had the chest cut out, every pair of trousers was missing a leg, his socks were cut down the middle, & his underwear was split at the sides. That is, everything that wasn't purple.

_"Tooru's favourite colour...?"_

Then, the meals laid out across the large table, which looked mostly untouched. At least he'd been drinking well.

Or so she thought, until she noticed the water pooling in the fresher plates & bowls, & the trails of moisture on the patterned carpet.

Everything purple was in mint condition, everything else in disarray, yet unsettlingly meticulously destroyed.

There were pictures of people stuck neatly on the wall, except all but Tooru's, including hers, were scribbled over, & Pika's was just about sticking out from beneath.

It was something that was difficult to admit as a parent, but being honest, Tooru was there for Pika much more than she or her father was. It was inevitable. She had a job to do.

& he witnessed it.

He witnessed his brother die, so close in front of him that he, too, could have died, though she didn't want to go down that route. He was only young, too.

So it made sense that he was badly affected.

It made sense that he wouldn't be the same after.

It made sense that he'd have more difficulty than others dealing with the loss.

But this...

The mother stared at the makeshift bed on the floor & the old jacket of Tooru's sleeping untouched on the actual bed as she pieced her thoughts together.

This didn't make sense.

He was reaching borderline insanity. & if things didn't improve, she was going to have to resort to more drastic measures, upsetting measures for a parent.

But if they couldn't get through to him, if he still failed to respond to professional help, if he didn't begin to get better, she wouldn't have a choice.

Saturday, 14th August

They couldn't get through to him. He did still fail to respond. & he didn't begin to get better.

Even talking to him about it, as usual, he didn't respond. In fact, he never said a thing at all, & the only time he reacted to anything was when it came to Tooru's belongings & any purple objects in the house, all of which they were strictly forbidden from touching, even the mother's favourite purple skirt.

He had really _changed._

He was lifeless, he was cold, he was skinny & weak, but he was _aggressive,_ seriously aggressive when they didn't follow his newly set rules & when they tried to have him to do anything healthy - they still hadn't even gotten him to wash & brush his hair & it was clear he had no intention to change this anytime soon. & speaking of which, he was due back at school in September, but there was no way they could send him in like this, she'd surely get done for neglect.

Despite her original plans if he didn't improve, she was finding it difficult to go through with. She had just lost a son, & the last thing she wanted was for her only other child to be taken away.

She looked in his direction as he passed her by on his way to the toilet - the one thing he still did normally - & caught his distant gaze. The only eye-contact they'd made in seven days, & she could see nothing in his vacant eyes but a life that had given up. That had nothing. That _thought_ it had nothing.

& it was then that she noticed his body.

Dirty, yes. Skinny, absolutely. & then,

Cut.

His body was littered all over in an assortment of fresh red & faded cuts, & it was obvious they were inflicted on purpose.

He was self-harming now, too, & it seemed that no part of his body was restricted.

She really couldn't help the tears that flooded out of her eyes without warning, & she didn't really want to.

_The last thing she wanted was for her only other child to be taken away._

No. Surely this, witnessing her precious only child slowly withering away, & speeding up the process by destroying his own body, this was the last thing she wanted.

If not now, when was it time for the last resort? Surely she couldn't watch this any longer. Surely, the shock & hurt of what she was seeing would overrule her fear of sending her child away. Her only child, to be locked up in an institute...

It really was scary, after all. But if she let this go on, she'd lose her right to call herself his parent, & he may just be taken away forever.

It was a difficult decision to make, but there was no longer any point in denying that this was way out of her power, out of his father's power, & she was out of options. She just had to make a phone call...

She couldn't.

Was it the shame of not being able to help her son? Was it the fear of him hating her for it? Was it the worry he'd never return, or that he'd never be the same once he did? Or perhaps, the emotions welling up in her eyes, making her too distressed to think straight?

They were at a dead end. No, not quite a dead end, it was more like a slope. Descending, with no way to stop & make their way back up. This was her only last option, right? So why couldn't she make the decision?

Friday, 20th August

He was gone.

How he had disappeared without her noticing, she didn't know, but she was terrified before she had even searched inside the house. God, how fucking stupid could she be? Letting him out of her sight in this condition, when there were countless escape routes anytime he wanted out?

She could only pray he was still in the house. God knows what would happen to them if he were to be seen in the state he was in. He'd be taken away without a word & she'd be sentenced for abuse. Probably for 100 years.

As much as she tried to quell her pessimism, her panicking heart was not cooperating, & she had only searched three rooms. God, why did they even want such a big house? But he wasn't in his room or the toilet, & those were the only two rooms he'd been in since Tooru's...since that day, besides his brother's room.

He wasn't in the kitchen. Or...the other kitchen. He wasn't in her room, any of the toilets, bathrooms, living rooms, display rooms, & he wasn't in the gardens.

_He's outside._

He's outside, in the wide world in his helpless, vulnerable, unstable state. He's outside, without anyone to watch his back, or even his front, since she wasn't sure he'd care to do even that much.

_She, his own mother, couldn't be there for him. For her son. Nor had she been for the son she no longer had._

She lent on a wheeled chair near one of the room's tall, steel beams to catch her breath as her mind spun.

_She'd lost her son. She'd lost her only last son & he was nowhere to be seen._

She heard a whimper overheard.

_She wasn't good enough. Wasn't there for him when he needed her, probably more than he'd ever need her in the rest of his life._

& then a half-stifled choking sound.

She froze. She already knew what that meant without looking up. But she still did. & she almost wished she hadn't.

If she hadn't known, she would have now, from the ring of rope tied to a beam & the small boy bound by it, looking at her, with a gaze that hit her right in the heart & broke it. Genuinely looking at her, with feeling, feeling other than hatred, other than pain, other than emptiness, voicing a silent plea.

_"Help."_

That.

That was when she made the decision.

～～～～～～～～★～～～～～～～～


End file.
